Being in a hospital waiting room is like being stuck at an airport waiting for a delayed plane, although without the promise of a holiday at the end of it. Dominic and I usually sit and while away the time staring at a small screen, me on Facebook him on the DSi. We're generally happy
They say that life changing events change you for the better. But nothing healthy or good has emerged from coming so close to losing Dominic. It has broken me and scarred me. It just made me so very sad, so very scared and so very lonely. But finding my way out and learning to accept that I could never have my ignorance back, that once you have felt the pain of saying goodbye you can never win back the peace that other parents seem to take for granted all around you has become part of my journey. It’s something that has woven itself into the way I see the world, see my family and ultimately see myself. It is part of everything, so it is undoubtedly part of my normal daily life.
I thought that perhaps my days of being able to surreptitiously gather ammunition for free and guiltless use against my children when they morph into grunting, fridge-clearing Neanderthals teenagers were all but over. Certainly my oldest (who is 9, but shows signs of precocious development of the evil genius trait earlier than I had originally
So the last couple of days have delivered me some razor-nailed prods to the happy little bubble that I like to hang out in, and that rather shiny bubble is looking ominously ready to pop. The first reality check come from an appointment I had with Elliot yesterday, but in order to explain that properly
I have been silently vowing to myself that I will spend more blog inches focusing on Elliot and Lilia. Looking back over the posts, they seem sadly neglected, often included in what I'm writing, but without the spotlight actually falling on them, which doesn't really accurately represent the real dynamic in the family. In 'real