…There was more truth in that silence than any blog post or facebook update could ever have come close to. There was no way of parcelling it up, of telling the story, there was just a nothingness. No problem for me to solve, no battle for me to fight. And still I stayed silent.
They say that life changing events change you for the better. But nothing healthy or good has emerged from coming so close to losing Dominic. It has broken me and scarred me. It just made me so very sad, so very scared and so very lonely. But finding my way out and learning to accept that I could never have my ignorance back, that once you have felt the pain of saying goodbye you can never win back the peace that other parents seem to take for granted all around you has become part of my journey. It’s something that has woven itself into the way I see the world, see my family and ultimately see myself. It is part of everything, so it is undoubtedly part of my normal daily life.
Have you ever wanted to stare, but known that you shouldn’t? This is a video of the most beautiful child in the world, telling his story of a life with feeding tubes- of course you’ll stare, you won’t be able to tear you eyes away
So the last couple of days have delivered me some razor-nailed prods to the happy little bubble that I like to hang out in, and that rather shiny bubble is looking ominously ready to pop. The first reality check come from an appointment I had with Elliot yesterday, but in order to explain that properly